Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Every October, in recognition of Domestic Violence awareness month, Jewish Family Services chooses a theme to shine a spotlight on the critical issue of domestic violence. This year, JFS asks a question to our community- if someone shared with you that they are feeling unsafe in their relationship, controlled by, emotionally hurt or are physically afraid of their partner- would you know how to help? With this year’s campaign, JFS is here to help us “Know what to say and know what to do.”

Nearly 29% of women and 10% of men have experienced physical violence, rape and/or stalking by a partner impacting their day-to-day functioning. This experience is no different in Jewish communities.

If someone confides in you about their experience with domestic violence, your response can significantly impact their ability to seek help and find safety. Here are some essential tips for supporting someone in this situation:

  1. Listen and Believe: Provide a non-judgmental space for them to share their experience. Believe their account and validate their feelings. Avoid minimizing their experience or suggesting they are overreacting. Domestic violence is often hidden from friends, family, and neighbors. It can feel sad and shocking to learn that someone you know is abusive. But survivors know their story better than anyone. Believe them the first time.
  2. Show Empathy and Support: Express concern for their safety and well-being. Use empathetic language such as, “I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I want to support you in any way I can.”
  3. Respect Their Choices: Understand that leaving an abusive relationship can be a complex and dangerous process. Respect their decisions and avoid pressuring them to take immediate action. This can be especially hard when it may seem like an “easy” choice to leave. Don’t ask “Why don’t you leave?” On average, it takes a survivor seven attempts before permanently leaving an abusive partner. It’s not as easy as just walking away. Encourage them to reach out for professional support.
  4. Offer Resources: Provide information about local resources such as shelters, hotlines, and counseling services. For example, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) offers 24/7 support and can connect individuals with local services. In Charlotte, folks can call the Greater Charlotte Hope Line 24/7 at 980-771-HOPE (4673).
  5. Maintain Confidentiality: Keep their information private unless they give you explicit permission to share it. Respect their privacy and understand that revealing their situation to others could jeopardize their safety.
  6. Encourage Professional Help: Suggest seeking professional help from therapists, counselors, or legal advocates who specialize in domestic violence. You can share JFS contact information 704-364-6594.
  7. Be Patient and Persistent: They may not be ready to take action immediately. Continue to offer support and check in regularly, demonstrating that you care about their well-being.
  8. You are an important Support: Most victims of domestic violence tell a friend or family member about the abuse before reporting it. When we really listen to survivors as they tell their story, it builds compassion and support.

Domestic Violence Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

Mecklenburg County CSS Domestic Violence Counseling 704-336-3210

Greater Charlotte Hope Line (Crisis Line for parenting, DV and sexual assault) 980-771-HOPE (4673)

Domestic Violence Victim Stories

Download and read each of the stories below to learn what to say and what to do for each situation.